i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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