i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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