are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
