worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My legs feel like baby dolphins
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
