I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Never joke about your clitoris.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
