im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
