Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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