careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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