Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
