Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
