I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
