no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
