Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
