I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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