why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
