Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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