I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
