suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
