the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
