Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
