hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
