The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
