no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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