is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need to align my fucking chakras
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
