Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
