Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
where are my eyebrows?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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