i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize