So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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