I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
