i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
