soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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