So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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