how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
