no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
