I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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