Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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