Your dad touched me again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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