worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
