He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think my mom watched the whole time
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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