I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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