Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
