If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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