If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
