She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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