tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
