he puts the penis in happiness.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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