So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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