names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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