Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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