I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
