my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
