Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
