i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
